


must be love

by clairelutra (exosolarmoon)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Denial, F/M, Feelings Realization, Humor, Overheard confession, Somewhat anyway, Stream of Consciousness, Unresolved Tension, as of yet, d e n i a l, not just a river in egypt, uhhhhh how do tags work uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 10:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10638069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exosolarmoon/pseuds/clairelutra
Summary: What's a girl to do when she finds out her crush and suitor are one and the same?Ladybug finds out that Adrien is Chat completely by accident, and then proceeds to... have something of a crisis.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i don't even know

Adrien was Chat.

Chat was Adrien.

Adrien was Chat was Adrien was—

Chat?

It didn't quite make sense no matter how many times she turned it over in her head.

Perfect, beautiful Adrien was actually her silly dorky kitty? No way. No _heckin'_ way.

Her rough-around-the-edges superhero partner, actually calm, _ethereal_ Adrien Agreste? That was even more baffling. How could Chat sit _still_ that long?

Ladybug mindlessly weaved around the security cameras around the Agreste estate, needing to investigate the revelation for herself.

It wasn't like it was _impossible_ , no matter how hard she found it to believe. Chat didn't exactly have an enviable home life, from what little she'd garnered, but those were family-related problems, as far as she could tell, not poverty-related ones. Heck, having a full-time job and not many expenses might actually _justify_ some of the gifts she'd received over the years — ones previously thought to have been borne from some ridiculous, near-suicidal (fiscidal?) drive to impress her.

Maybe his sense of money really _was_ just that screwed.

...Which was actually a very Chat-like thing to not completely understand.

Ladybug landed on the tiny ledge next to Adrien's bank of windows, just out of the reach of the light from the lamps inside, and listened for any sign of activity, thanking her lucky spots for her superpower-enhanced senses.

(And keeping the company Adrien might keep (models and designers and artists and rich kids) would probably explain some of Chat's skill and knowledge of theatrics, wouldn't it? The pole-dancing and the posturing and the dramatic flair — those wouldn't be hard to perfect in living Adrien's life, would they?)

She heard rustling, the squeaking of office chair joins, and then a long, slow sigh of a timbre that could only be Chat's. Or Adrien's.

_Bingo._

"Hey, Plagg?"

—and then jumped nearly a foot in the air at the sound of his voice.

Cha— Adrien wasn't alone in there?

"D'ya think Ladybug was acting a little bit... _odd_ on patrol today?"

... _Busted._

"Nope," said a tiny, rattling voice. There was a loud gulping sound. "Can't say that I do."

Was that a—

Adrien sighed, and there was some more rustling. "I guess you're right... but I could have _sworn_..."

"You were imagining it," said the tiny rattling voice that could only really be a kwami — it certainly wasn't human. "Is there any more cheese?"

 _Definitely_ a kwami.

Ch— _Adrien_ groaned and got up, chair clattering and doors squeaking and... packaging crackling?

"There you go," she heard over the delighted noise the kwami made. "Knock yourself out."

"Don't mind if I do."

So that was... definitely Chat. And Chat's kwami.

Well, this was awkward.

"I mean, she doesn't usually stutter, does she?" Adrien went on, sounding like he was talking to himself. "Do you think I said something weird?"

 _Well,_ how was she supposed to act when _Adrien Agreste_ told her she could _tie him up_ anytime?! Did he _know_ just how often she'd fantasized about just that?

"Well," said the kwami through a mouthful of cheese, "you're already pretty weird. If she still accepts you now, I don't think you have to worry about throwing her off with _that_."

"...Gee, thanks Plagg."

"Anytime."

But at the same time, it was _Chat_ who'd told her that, and she just wasn't interested in Chat like that!

Besides, it was _Chat._ If he'd ever meant _any_ of the lines he'd given her, she'd go without jelly beans for a month.

Which also meant that Adrien had been flirting with her without meaning any of it either.

Ahaha... ha.

Adrien started speaking again, and Ladybug threw off the ache in her heart with difficulty.

"Okay, but if it wasn't me, then what _was_ it?"

No, no, Ladybug could assure him that it was, indeed, him.

"Maybe she was hungry," Plagg suggested.

"No, Plagg," said Adrien, long-suffering. "I don't think she was hungry."

...Well, she was a _little_ hungry. Not for food, precisely, but the kwami wasn't _wrong_ , per se.

"...Do you think..." Adrien trailed off, and Ladybug found herself edging closer to the open window, caught by the fragile, hesitant _hope_ in his voice. "Do you think she..."

A breathless pause.

"...Nah," he finished, dismissive in more ways than one. "Couldn't be."

Ladybug released the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Nice to see you sticking with reality," said Plagg, tone unreadable.

_What?_

"Look," said Adrien, a little exasperated and a little self-deprecating, "if I'd _finally_ managed to get her to _look_ at me, there'd be a little warning, wouldn't there?"

...Oh.

Well.

"'S not like you'd know either way," Plagg pointed out, still in that unreadable tone.

"Oh, wow, _thanks,_ " Adrien griped, but Ladybug could still hear that heart-melting little smile in his voice. Then, in a much quieter mumble, "It was just a thought."

Plagg didn't have an answer for that.

Unseen, Ladybug swallowed hard, only remembering to breathe when her lungs started to complain.

That couldn't be...

That couldn't _mean_...

Adrien couldn't really... couldn't really l- _like_ her like that, could he? He couldn't have been talking about _her_ , could he?

Well, obviously he'd been talking about Ladybug, but...

He sounded like he really wanted her to 'look' at him, whatever that meant. It wasn't like he'd said, _I have a crush on Ladybug_ , right? He just _kind of_ sounded like he wanted her to 'look' at him.

Which could mean a lot of things! Like that he wanted her to notice his haircut! Or his makeup! It! could! mean! a lot of things!!

(He hadn't cut his hair and he hadn't been wearing makeup, _she knew that_ ; those were just examples, _okay?_ That was just what she usually wanted people to look at _her_ for — people who weren't Adrien, at least.

Adrien — _him_ she just wanted to look at her and _notice her_ , darn it.)

The soft tapping of computer keys floated out of his window, Adrien having moved on from wondering about her odd behavior to surfing the internet, it looked like.

Ladybug released a tiny, relieved, disappointed sigh.

The tail end of which caught in her throat when Adrien spoke again.

"...She's amazing, isn't she?" floated out a soft, (dare she even _think_ it) almost _lovesick_ sigh.

A much less enchanting voice rattled a groan. "And here we go again."

...Okay, so she _thought_ he was talking about her, but what if it was actually like, _Oprah_ or something he was looking at. That would be a _really embarrassing mixup_ that she would _never,_ ever _live down—_

Oh god.

What if he was talking about Chloé?

Ladybug scrambled up to the edge of the window bank, peeping cautiously into the light to find...

Adrien most definitely looking at a picture of her.

_Meep._

Ladybug stumbled back to catch her breath, toes slipping and catching on the tiny ledge, face burning fiercely in the midnight air.

She squeezed her eyes shut, Adrien's adoring smile and her own suit on the monitor plastered to the backs of her eyelids, and rubbed her chest where her heart was pounding a tattoo onto the inside of her ribcage.

Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep—

Adrien sighed again.

Ladybug stopped breathing.

"Look, kid," said the rattling voice, cutting through Ladybug's fluster. "Just. Tell her how you feel and be _done_ with it already. It's been _years_. Either she's gonna accept you or she isn't."

...That... didn't sound much like Chat wanting her to notice his appearance.

Adrien didn't answer for a minute, and Ladybug was left to slip sideways into her thoughts.

So, it looked like...

It _looked_ like... like Adrien might... _like_ her. Like _that_.

Maybe. Possibly. If she committed the right number of sacrifices under a blood moon, she _might_ get that lucky.

Maybe.

Or, you know, maybe Chat had been flirting with her all these years because he meant it.

Oh gosh.

Ladybug pressed her hands to her hot, hot face, the cool material of her suit leaching the heat from the blood rushing there.

She was giving up jelly beans _forever_.

"...C'mon Plagg," Adrien laughed quietly, something gut-churning about the quality of his voice — or maybe that was just her recent revelations. "I'm not going to ruin us over something like that."

Plagg made a disgusted, unsurprised noise, like this wasn't nearly the first time he'd heard it, and fell silent.

 _Ruin_ , he said.

Like she hadn't...

Like she wouldn't...

Well, granted, she wasn't _really_ interested in Chat like that, so maybe he wasn't _entirely_ off-base, but to think that something like this would make it awkward instead of...

Instead of...

She swallowed away the lump in her throat that didn't really feel like _tears_ so much as it felt like embarrassment and pleasure.

Adrien — that is Chat, who _was_ Adrien — really liked her.

Really, _really_ liked her.

And had for years.

The lump in her throat was rapidly attempting to blossom into a thrilled screech.

"Is there more cheese?"

"In the kitchen," said Adrien absently, his warm, rolling tones threatening to sweep her right off her feet.

Oh, who was she kidding. He'd done that and set her down on cloud nine long ago.

So long ago that she wasn't quite sure what to _do_ with this information. Her initial stutter problem had gradually faded, but she still hadn't had the courage to confess or make a move or _anything_ , so she and Adrien were still at... kind of a stalemate, really.

Well, _now_ she knew it was a stalemate.

Should she flirt with him? She knew he liked Ladybug, and it was always easier to be brave and confident and suave as Ladybug (easier to be brave when Chat was right there next to her); she could _swoop in_ , interrupt one of his photoshoots like, _hey there, pretty thing; could I sweep you off your feet?_

...

No, no, she really couldn't.

He'd _laugh in her face._

Okay, but, like, maybe something less embarrassing? Just like, stick around when she saved him sometimes, and... let her interest be known? Somehow?

How did you even _do_ that, anyway?

Her mind flashed to Chat, and his little comments that never crossed a line and yet still managed to be heartattack-romantic or gently flirty or so understatedly _raunchy_ that they woke her up in the middle of the night, sweating and sticky and aching.

...Okay, so that was _one_ way.

Chat had a talent that she could respect, so maybe she could mooch off his lines to flirt with him a little.

—Flirt with _Adrien_ , of course, because she _didn't like Chat like that._

She'd never really wanted to _kiss_ Chat, after all—

Her brain helpfully supplied all thirty-two-and-a-half times she'd found herself leaning in to Chat's advances, and then all the countless times she'd found herself contemplating it without any prompting at all.

Which was really _not_ a good measure of interest, because all people with attractive friends thought like that sometimes, right?

Right?

Anyway, it wasn't like she really wanted to, you know, get down and dirty with Chat like she did Adrien—

(Putting aside, of course, the 'yo-yo/bed combination' fantasy, and the 'rooftop makeout session gone down the R18 route' fantasy, and the 'chat sneaking into her room and having his filthy way with her' fantasy, and the—)

 _And anyway,_ she'd never _once_ reacted to Chat like she had Adrien, so there.

(—shudders running up and down her spine when his claws dragged over her hip, her knees not working after feeling his breath in her ear, his voice putting a moan in her throat when it sounded a certain way just a _little bit too close_ —)

Well. Those were all _physical_ reactions, which were completely understandable and ignorable when you spent as much time as she did around someone as frankly attractive as Chat. It _in no way_ meant that she was actually attracted to her kitty. At all.

...It wasn't like she put herself to sleep by imagining his fingers running through her hair after a bad day or anything.

And that was a _completely platonic_ thing. She did _not_ have romantic feeling for Chat.

Even if she might not mind spending the rest of her life with him.

Even if he was Adrien.

Even if sometimes all she really wanted to do was lie down in some safe place and doze off with him, run her fingers through _his_ hair until he relaxed, protect him while he slept and see what he looked like when he first woke up.

Even then.

...

Fuck.

If she flirted with Adrien, or with Chat, he'd... he'd probably receive her all the same, no matter which side of the mask she tried it on.

The thought of Chat going open and warm and soft at her, the thought of Adrien teasing her without reservation, the thought of either of him — both of him — _him_ bursting out into bright, loud, unrestrained laughter...

Longing hit her so fast and hard she couldn't _breathe_.

For a long, long moment, that was all there was: her, and the night, and the longing so intense she just didn't know what to do with it all.

And then there was Plagg.

 _"Look,"_ that tiny, rattling voice dragged out, apparently having returned from the kitchen. "Are you gonna mope forever or are you going to _do_ something? Because this? Is _really_ boring."

"I told you already, Plagg—"

"Not confess," the kwami clarified, voice floating closer. "Just like, _go outside_ or something, and stop staring at those pictures."

And, with a lurch of horror, Ladybug realized that Plagg had gotten close enough to stare out the window.

And he did so.

Right.

At.

Her.

"Plagg, this is what I _always_ do when we get back," said Adrien, sounding mildly confused but not really surprised as the clicking of his mouse echoed in the background. "Anyway, you hate transforming, remember?"

Lady and cat god continued their standoff, which didn't break an iota as Plagg said, "Nah, I'm restless."

Ladybug felt ice trickle through her veins, frozen solid as the tiny creature's face slowly split into a canary-catching grin.

"Come on, Adrien. Let's go play!"

Oh god.

 _"Plagg,"_ Adrien said, with that exasperation well-known to every pet owner. The scrape of rolling wheels screeched in Ladybug's ears. "What's gotten into you?"

Oh god oh god oh god oh god—

One soft footstep, two, three — and the degree of Plagg's grin _ever-so-slowly_ changed from canary-catching to canary- _caught._

Ladybug didn't wait to become the canary.

She wrestled her yo-yo down from where she'd left it, swung it, and, heedless of the security cameras, she _bolted._

_"Plagg? What are you grinning at?"_

_"Never mind, kid."_

_"Didn't you want to—"_

_"I said 'never mind,' didn't I?"_

Adrien sighed.

* * *

_Oh god oh god oh god,_ was still echoing around her head on loop when she tumbled into bed at the end of her panicked flight. What did she do, what did she do—

_What did she do?_

**Author's Note:**

> let me live

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Must Be Fate](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12423369) by [Zaphirite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaphirite/pseuds/Zaphirite)




End file.
